Category Archives: Feelings
It’s never too late to follow your dream (although you may have to make a few adjustments)
This is the (slightly modified) text of a talk I gave at the CHI 2019 Diversity and Inclusion Lunch on Tuesday, 7 May 2019. I have added one paragraph and made minor changes in a few words and phrases, and I’ve spelled out the abbreviations for readers who aren’t in the field; but this is basically what I said. I’ve also added a short epilog at the end.
Some years ago I moved across the Atlantic to do a PhD. That’s not so unusual, really — but I was 60 years old, and widowed. I definitely wasn’t your typical graduate student.
My age and circumstances, it turned out, brought me both challenges and advantages.
Let me begin with my three main challenges.
Health. Although I started out in fairly good health, while doing my PhD I developed some new issues. The biggest of these was hip arthritis, for which I made many healthcare visits, used walking aids for more than a year, and eventually had hip replacement surgery. These new health issues reduced my stamina and took time away from my research.
Isolation. I was much older than most of my fellow PhD students (most were less than half my age), and I missed having people I could just hang out with. I suspect that my isolation was due partly to my own sense of not quite fitting in, but I still felt sad about it.
Competition. I liked the university environment and considered trying to stay in it. I realized, however, that to do that I would have to compete with 25-year-olds who had 40-year careers ahead of them. They had more energy than I did and were willing to take lower salaries. I didn’t see myself doing well in that race.
I also found three clear advantages to pursuing this dream later in life.
Finances. I first considered doing a PhD just after I discovered human-computer interaction (HCI) in 1982, at what I’ve come to call the “proto-CHI” conference (Gaithersburg was just up the road from me), but by then I was used to having a full-time salary and I would have had to sacrifice either income or free time. Thirty years later, I had enough resources that I could afford to be a full-time student again.
Experience. To my PhD studies I brought 35 years of practice in user interface (UI) and user experience (UX) consulting and 30 years of involvement with the HCI community. I had co-edited a book on user experience in government systems, attended roughly half of the CHI conferences, reviewed CHI submissions, and served on CHI program committees. I already knew a great many people and some of the ropes.
Topic freedom. I wasn’t aiming to launch an academic career, so I didn’t have to concern myself overmuch with how well my research topic would fly in the larger academic community. Although a few other people were conducting research on related topics in the field (the use of technology in spirituality and religion), I wanted to study subjective transcendent experiences supported by technology. It was definitely not a mainstream topic in HCI circles, and I expected to be thought a little weird. But I was OK with that, as I wasn’t depending on topic acceptance for my professional future. Besides, it was such a niche topic that there was plenty of room for contributing to knowledge.
To respond to my challenges, I had to make a number of adjustments.
Schedule. My health issues caused me to need two extensions to my deadline. Instead of Nothumbria University’s “standard duration” of three years to complete the research and submit the thesis, I took four and a half. On the other hand, I did get it done.
Career path. Abandoning my thoughts of an academic life, I settled back into being a research-savvy practitioner. Adding a PhD to decades in industry worked for me, and I’m enjoying applying my research knowledge to my practice.
Research dreams. I’m still struggling with my hopes for continuing my research. Although I’ve presented in many CHI venues and have given full papers at other SIGCHI conferences, I have yet to submit a full paper to CHI. Unfortunately, I’m no longer up to travelling much farther than the US east coast, so I may have to rethink that goal, or maybe just postpone it.
From time to time I hear someone wondering if, at 55 or even at 50, they’re too old to start a PhD. I am here as proof that even 60 and beyond is not too old. You’ll probably have to make an adjustment or two to your approach, your plans, and your expectations, But it’s never too late to follow a dream.
And I’m delighted to say that today I am realizing a dream I’ve had for the last few years — speaking at the CHI Diversity and Inclusion Lunch.
Finally, I confess I haven’t given up on research altogether — I have a three-day workweek and am hoping to use my remaining time to collaborate on HCI research. If anyone is interested, let’s talk!
Epilog
This talk turned out to be my favorite part of CHI 2019. I confess I was a little embarrassed at the applause I received at several points (I didn’t write the talk to impress people but to encourage them), but for the next two and a half days I was approached by people who had heard my talk and by people who had just heard about it. They all told me how much they loved what I said, many saying that my words had seeded the discussion at their lunch tables. Some of them said they were going to push their mothers to go to graduate school. The word “inspiring” came up several times.
Now, I was proud of the alt.chi talk I had given that morning, the thing that arose from my PhD thesis. I received much praise for that one as well. But this talk touched hearts and minds, and it has the potential to change lives. I find myself profoundly moved by my audience’s response.
And I now have three or four opportunities for doing research. I call that a win all around!
My job is done.
Yesterday I removed the yellow highlighting from my thesis corrections, filled out the university’s submission form for an electronic thesis, and sent the pair of documents to the Graduate School. With this I have discharged all of my responsibilities to the university regarding my PhD. The Graduate School will send me my parchment (which I will promptly have framed) and will post my thesis at the Northumbria Research Link. They didn’t say how long it will take them to post it, but my parchment will arrive about three months from now and I have about three months to change my subscriptions to a different email address and save any emails I want to keep, before they close my uni email account.
I’m going to miss eduroam the most. (Maybe I can get myself affiliated with another university to conduct further research.)
P.S. I’ve discovered that not all of my PhD-related research work appears on the Northumbria Research Link, so I’m going to look into how to get the rest of it posted.
Official word on my Viva
Today I received the official word from the Northumbria Graduate School on my viva results:
I write to advise you that following your research degree examination, the University’s Research Degrees Committee has approved the outcome of your research degree examination as follows:
Award the degree, subject to corrections being carried out to the satisfaction of a nominated examiner
A copy of the Examiners’ joint report and recommendation form is attached – section 6 lists the exact requirements which you are now required to meet.
The deadline by which you should submit your corrections/resubmission to The Graduate School is 24/02/2018 at the latest.
Once all of the corrections have been made, please submit to The Graduate School an electronic copy (formatted as a single pdf) of your corrected thesis/portfolio.
It is good practice, and will assist the examiner who reviews the corrections, if you can indicate where in the thesis you have made the corrections; e.g., by providing a separate list showing on which pages of your thesis/portfolio the corrections have been made, or by making the corrections using a different colour of font from that in the main body of your thesis (or portfolio).
This letter came about two weeks before I expected. I still think the bureaucratic process will prevent me from getting the degree before late October, but at least now I can start working on the changes. Two of them will take just a few minutes each; the other two will require some thought. But yee-haa, the end is in sight!
(The only downside is that I will lose access to Eduroam after I lose my Northumbria email account.)
Ah, Cambridge…
What can I say about Cambridge? It’s so very different from Newcastle that I don’t know where to start. Some of the things I’m listing pertain to my new and old neighborhoods specifically, but I think they’re characteristic.
Some things I notice that I like:
- It’s full of Italians.
- I can get to London in 45 minutes, which means I can attend Polyphony Down the Pub on occasion. (And a senior off-peak day return ticket costs only £16.40.)
- It’s full of bicycles, and the infrastructure facilitates them. (When I’m fully back on my feet I may buy one.)
- They recycle just about everything. Including food waste.
- The colleges at the university are gorgeous.
- The bus fare machines don’t spit out a useless paper ticket if you’ve used a pass.
- There are a lot of local greengrocers and other shops with fruit/veg on display outside.
- It’s easy to get good Chinese food without paying through the nose.
- It’s awash in science. Science parks, science campuses, research organisations…
- The river is puntable. Haven’t done it yet but am considering it.
- It has a rather intellectual atmosphere, to some extent.
- It should have more early music. I haven’t found it yet, but I’m told it’s there. Once I’ve got my impending new hip in and working well…
- Pubs are reasonably likely to serve Aspall cyder. It is close to Suffolk, after all…
- It doesn’t have a seriously ugly part right in the city centre. (Newcastle peeps, you know I’m referring to the eastern side of Pilgrim Street and that general area, and you know it’s true.)
- It has a bustling outdoor market right in the city centre. Seven days a week.
- My neighborhood is not nearly as swarming with students as my Newcastle neighborhood was (which is less now than it used to be). My next-door neighbors on both sides are very nice, and we have good conversations. Some things in common.
- My office and officemates are nearby.
Some things I notice that I don’t like:
- They recycle food waste. Which means we have to hang onto it for two weeks until they come around and empty the green bin.
- It’s not very well served by public buses. Not compared with Newcastle, anyway.
- It’s despairingly flat. People tell me it will grow on me and I must visit the fens. Stay tuned.
- There is no castle.
- The surrounding area has almost no ruined castles or abbeys.
- There is no indoor market. (I quickly got spoiled by Grainger Market.)
- Although there are some impressive churches, there is no cathedral. For that you have to go to Ely. (Which I plan to do fairly soon.)
- There is no river gorge with several impressive bridges crossing it — the Cam River is not very wide and its banks are low. (Don’t even think of bringing up the Bridge of Sighs. I’ve been to Venice. Several times.)
- It’s swarming with bicycles. When I’m driving, this makes me just a teeny bit nervous.
- There are a lot of modern, sterile apartment buildings.
- The Apple Store has a long waiting list for Genius Bar appointments.
- There aren’t any back lanes where they could put community bins or even make it easier to put out our wheelie bins. We have to drag the wheelie bins around to the front, find a place to put them amidst the squeezed-in parked cars, and then drag them back around to the back.
- The water is rather hard. Every time I go back north, I am reminded of how much my hair likes the water there.
- My neighborhood doesn’t have parking permits. Sometimes I have to park in the next block or even on the next street over.
- It gets HOT here. Last September I was here for a few days when the high temperature was 34C (93F). Whew!
- It takes a lot longer to get to a decent airport. (I don’t count as decent any airport that’s served mostly by Ryanair.)
- It almost never snows here, they tell me, other than a light dusting.
- It takes a bit of effort to get to the coast, and even more to get to any hills to speak of.
- Much less active local RSA chapter.
- And of course — it’s expensive. I’m paying roughly twice the rent I paid in Newcastle, for an unfurnished place that has slightly more room inside (and admittedly a large-ish back garden). Asking prices of houses for sale are even more out of line.
This list is probably biased by the fact that I’ve just spent a weekend in Newcastle and had a day out in Northumberland. Once I’m really settled in — substantially recovered from hip surgery and able to move reasonably well again (which includes being able to finish unpacking from my move) — I’m sure that my increased ability to explore will increase the size of my positive list. I’ll post further impressions as the mood strikes me.
It never gets old
I’ve lived in the UK for more than four years now. At the moment, I’m doing a fair amount of travelling for work — mostly from Newcastle to Cambridge or Macclesfield and back. As this morning’s train passed through the misty hills of County Durham, I found myself thinking, yet again, that travelling within the UK still gives me a sense of being on vacation. People often ask me why I feel more energized living in the UK, and I think this is a large part of it. I had visited the UK a couple of dozen times or so before moving here, so even when I’m working hard or spending time in a less-than-idyllic setting, life here always brings me a faint whiff of holiday. Even when I’m grousing about separate hot and cold taps or being called “Mrs” without being asked, there’s just something about the atmosphere…
Well, dear Brits, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for another five years
About 20 minutes before I had to leave my flat this morning, a knock sounded loud on my door. I knew immediately what it was: the answer from my application for a Tier 2 General visa. And it was a yes!
I had been dreaming that this prize would arrive before I left, but I didn’t dare hope it would actually come this soon. But it did, and I’m delighted! I now have a permit to live and work in the UK through 3 January 2022. (The “Restricted Work” note means tthat I have to work for the company that sponsored me and that any additional work I might do has to be in the same category.) I wasn’t seriously worried that the Home Office would reject my application, but until they had actually said yes my inner catastrophizer was hard at work.
Once I had received my Certificate of Sponsorship from Sigma, I used the UK Visas and Immigration’s (UKVI’s) Priority Service, which guaranteed me a decision within two weeks of my submitting my application. (I submitted the application online and all document exchanges were done by post/mail.) They made their decision in eight days and I received my permit two days later. Well done, UKVI!
And Merry Christmas to me!
Surprised…
…that I haven’t dreamed about my PhD before now.
A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I had my viva and they gave me a result of “Second, with distinction”. That doesn’t make any sense, because as far as I know only a bachelor’s degree gets a first, second, etc., and “with distinction” doesn’t apply to a second-class degree anyhow. But that was my dream. It meant, I think, that I’m anxious about how well I’m going to do.
It doesn’t help that I’m having problems with my main laptop. I’m not going to rehash the story here, but Apple still haven’t come up with a diagnosis/solution that make the problem go away. It’s seriously getting in the way of my productivity, and I’m really glad I never got around to selling my old one. It doesn’t have the memory, speed, or storage of the newer one, and it weighs a lot more, but it suffices as an interim solution.
They say that…
They say that writin’ up is hard to do,
Now I know, I know that it’s true.
Do say that this is the end.
Instead of writin’ up I wish that
I could lighten up again…
(with apologies to Neil Sedaka)
The best kind of compliment
Last night I received an email from another graduate student doing research in techno-spirituality. This woman is in a different university, in a different country, and in a different area of techno-spirituality — her research involves Islamic applications, mainly for helping elderly people conduct their spiritual and religious practices. She has asked my input from time to time, and now she’s finishing her thesis. She wrote me last night that the alt.chi paper that my supervisor and I published three years ago — “Spirituality – There’s an App for That (but not a lot of research)” was the primary motivation for her study.
It’s a nice feeling of accomplishment to be considered and cited as an expert in my field. I find it far more gratifying, though, to know that my work inspires and motivates others.
I love this work.
Leisurely Seeking Doctorate 